Why is NLP so effective?
We can go for years repeating the same patterns of behaviour. We know what the problem is but things never seem to change.
Take the example of eating disorders. I've often heard tell of a well meaning onlooker stating "Why can't he/she just eat a proper dinner?". If only it were that simple right?
Imagine saying to a smoker "smoking gives you lung cancer" and the smoker responding "Oh really? Okay then. I'll stop right now!".
It's not enough for the conscious mind to KNOW this stuff. There are other forces at work here....
Why do I do these things?
(Or... Your Other-Than-Conscious Mind!)
A pre-supposition of NLP is that every negative/unwanted behaviour has a positive intention for us.
Okay, so imagine that as a small child you spot a common or friendly garden spider run across your path. Fascinated at the marvel of having an abundance of legs and the beauty of the co-ordinated dance that this creature abounds whilst gliding across the floor you point in wonder and cry out to all those in ear shot to join in this celebration of Mother Nature at it's best.
Aunty Joyce SCREAMS in terror, raises her skirts and flees legs a flailing (not unlike the spider) still screaming and wailing, arms in the air running to safety. Being the intelligent, well adjusted four year old that you are, you conclude -
"Crikey! Those things must be positively deadly to produce such a response in Aunty Joyce - she's usually so sensible".
It is at this point!!!!!
Your other-than-conscious mind decides to create a part of you that makes certain you will NEVER put your life in danger to one of these evil creatures. Therefore, every time you encounter said creatures - your head spins, your pulse races, your eyes become crossed (or something) and you turn into your Aunty Joyce - running for your life legs and arms akimbo.
So you see, as much as the panic response (an unwanted behaviour) is awful to anyone who has experienced it - it DOES have a positive intention for us. In this case - protection or safety.
A good NLP Practitioner will be able to help you know what your unwanted behaviours are doing for you - honour them - and then do something different!